I Understand
by Ponaco
Summary: Michelangelo wonders where Donatello has been sneaking off to lately. A 2012 One-shot.


**Author's Note: Just a little One-shot to show my B-Team love. This takes place in the same 2012 AU as _Click_, but I would place the turtles around 12-13 years old in this story. Hope you like it!**

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><p>I Understand<p>

I don't like walking these tunnels by myself. They're dark and drippy and way too far from the lair. The stagnant water is too deep for me to make the whole trip faster with my skateboard and I kick it with a loud splash. Stupid water. The tunnel opens into a room with ceilings so high the corners are covered in shadow. I try not to think about what might be hiding in those shadows; probably giant monster cockroaches or evil alien bats just waiting to suck the brains out of some chump as they walk by. I hate walking these tunnels by myself.

I spot him and I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone. If there is a monster lurking somewhere in those shadows we could take it together. I knew he'd be there. That's why I came here in the first place. He's been coming here more often lately. I didn't tell anyone. If he felt like he had to sneak off he obviously doesn't want people to know what he's up to. I'm not a tattle tale. He's sitting on a small platform that he must have built because it wasn't there the last time I followed him.

There's a small grate a couple feet above his head and sunshine pours through in bright rays between the metal bars. He shouldn't be so close to the outside. Master Splinter says it isn't safe. He doesn't know I'm there so I inch around the perimeter, clinging to the shadows. There's a book open on his lap and if he is reading I know it'll take more than a little noise to get his attention. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be careful. I pause directly under the platform. He's still about eight feet above my head and I crane my neck back to stare up at him. That's when I hear the voice.

It's a woman and at first I think she's in the sewer with us because her words echo and dance off the walls like she's standing right beside me, but that can't be right. There aren't any humans down here. That's why it's safe. I pull up onto a pipe and try to get a better look or hear what she's saying. She isn't talking to him. That's not right either. She's outside, probably right by the vent, completely unaware that two mutant turtles are listening to her every word. There's a rustle and he turns the page, licking his thumb before moving the dry paper.

The woman is telling a story, or reading one I think. Her voice is light and cheerful and she tries to do different voices for all the characters even though she isn't very good at it. It doesn't matter. Whoever is listening above ground laughs and my brother covers his mouth to hide a small chuckle of his own. I crouch on the pipe and lean back against the wall, staring up at the square of sunshine and grinning at the happy voice and the story echoing against the damp walls. I missed the beginning and I don't know exactly what's going on. It doesn't matter. There are pirates and swordfights and that's enough to listen in.

The voice eventually fades away and the woman must have moved from the grate. The room seems darker without the story and I remember how much I hate this stretch of tunnel. He hasn't moved from his seat on the platform and I think maybe he fell asleep. His feet stretch out and there's the soft snap of his book closing. I suddenly remember that I'm lurking in the shadows and it might be a good idea to say something. Too late. He jumps down, instantly falling back into a fighting stance when he spots me.

"Oh, hey Donnie," I say with a feeble wave, climbing down from my perch amongst the pipes.

He stares at me and blinks several times before loosening his stance and standing up straight. He's grown a lot in the last few months, more than the rest of us anyway, more than me and I have to tilt my head to make eye contact. His surprise has turned into a wide-eyed stare and I know that look. It's guilt. We all get that same stare when we think we've been caught doing something wrong.

"Mikey…what…what are you doing here?" he asks and his voice cracks over the last word. His voice has been doing that a lot lately.

"I, uh…Master Splinter needs your help," I reply with a sheepish smile. I have the same wide-eyed stare, I just know it. "The generator is doing that weird sparky thing again," I add in a rush of words, hoping a new project will distract him.

His hand tightens around the book and I catch sight of a pirate ship on the cover. "All right," he says, clearing his throat and shifting awkwardly on his feet. "I…um, how long…how did you know where I was?" he asks, avoiding my eyes and reaching up to take hold of the strap across his chest.

"I followed you," I say almost immediately and my eyes go wide again. Sometimes I say things out loud when I only mean to think them.

"What? Why?" he demands and he almost sounds angry, but that guilty look has its grip on him and can't be pushed aside.

I shrug, moving from one foot to the other. I don't like standing still. "Just wondered where you keep sneaking off to," I reply, adding quickly when his face falls even more. "I didn't tell anybody."

He doesn't say anything. His hand tightens on the strap across his chest and a small sigh makes his shoulders rise and fall. I probably should have said something earlier, instead of snooping. The sound of a dog barking filters down through the gate and I lift my eyes to the sunshine in response.

"Probably shouldn't sit so close to the grate," I say quietly, afraid that if I speak any louder I might spook him. "You know what Sensei says about above ground."

"I know," he says almost immediately. His eyes crinkle and shame curls his mouth into a frown. "I know," he says again, softer this time.

I didn't mean to make him feel ashamed. I would never mean to do that. He just has to understand that it isn't safe. "It…it was a good story though," I say with a smile.

He looks up and the shame in his eyes is overcome by something else, hope. I see that look a lot. He gets that way when he makes something new or gets excited about a project or some new scientific breakthrough he has read about. He hopes I understand. I try or at least I try to fake it. Half the time I have no idea what he's talking about, but that doesn't mean I won't listen. I wish I did understand. I wish any of us did. Maybe then he wouldn't think that he has to sneak off or lock himself away in his lab. I might not understand all of his science stuff, but I understand this.

"Has she told other stories?" I ask. If I keep him talking he won't run away.

He nods around a swallow that looks painful and the shame is back. "They…she takes them to the park on Thursdays."

"They?"

He swallows again and I feel terrible, like I'm making him tell a deep, dark secret. It isn't fair of me. You shouldn't have to tell secrets unless you're ready. You shouldn't force people to tell them. They're secret for a reason.

"The…the kids," he says, drumming his fingers over the cover of the book. "She takes them to the park on Thursdays."

"Does she always read stories?" I ask, remembering the way he hid a quiet laugh and followed along in his own book.

He's been coming here for weeks, probably longer. I only just noticed. I should have noticed sooner. Someone should have noticed sooner. He's been going off on his own for weeks and no one noticed. We're supposed to watch out for one another. That's how we stay safe. How can we stay safe if we don't even notice when one of us is missing?

"Usually," he murmurs and his voice catches before he clears his throat to try and hide it. "Sometimes they just play."

"You shouldn't sit so close to the grate," I say again, when what I really mean is he shouldn't come here at all. "It isn't safe, Donnie."

He nods and runs his teeth over his bottom lip, biting down. He thinks I don't understand.

"It must be nice, huh?" I say, staring up at the grate and the sunshine above.

I do understand. I need him to know that. I don't always know how to say it, but I need him to know.

"What?" he says, following my gaze.

"To have someone take you to the park or read to you in funny voices," I reply with a smile, leaning back on the balls of my feet. "Or make you cookies. I bet that lady makes really good cookies, probably chocolate chip. Oh! Or those ones with the little colored candies in them."

There's a tiny pull at the corner of his mouth and I take it for a win. "Yeah," he says quietly. "Must be nice."

"But you probably shouldn't sit so close to the grate anymore, better safe than sorry, right?" I insist, needing to hear him agree before I'll believe him.

"Yeah," he says with a wistful gaze up at the sunshine. "It isn't safe. I know…I'm sorry."

I don't want him to feel bad. He doesn't have a reason to, not really. I throw my arm around his shoulder, not as easy a task as it used to be with the height difference. That won't stop me from trying. He has to lean forward slightly to keep the two of us from toppling over and something close to a smile threatens to cross his face.

"We better get going before Sensei comes looking for us," I say, turning us in the direction of the lair.

"You won't…"

"Nah, our little secret," I reply, not letting him get the question out.

I won't tell. I'm not a tattle tale.

"Ya gotta promise me one thing though," I add with a grin.

"What's that?" he asks with just a tiny bit of worry.

"You'll read me the rest of that book," I say, letting go of his shoulders and dropping back to swish my arm and an imaginary sword. "I gotta know what happens to the pirates."

He laughs and the sound echoes down the dark and drippy tunnel. It doesn't seem so scary now that I'm not by myself.

"Sure, Mikey," he says, tucking the book under his arm. "Right after I fix the generator."


End file.
